U just blabbered and said next time I dont ask u along when I am studying. Is wasting your time. Funny thing is I didnt said it out. I just want your attention when I am bored. So I tried to help in clearing your house. I tried to sleep while waiting. Tried to watch tv or use the internet perhaps or something... But I didnt said or felt is wasting of time. Cos thats what weekend for - Spending time with one another whenever we can. So is my turn to spend the time with you while ya studying.
But it turned out still sour at the end of the weekend
I ran so hard and tried to feel more comfortable to smile after the run but I still feel quite horrible. I cant say anything cos I dont know what to say anymore.
What else can I ask for or say now?
7:09 PM
Off to my Dreamland
It hits me that the duration of r.s doesnt matter but what matters is the r.s is holding on strong and is pink of health. And to think that i kept thinking of settling down young and envy those girls who r of my age and r happily engaged. And when i look at my own r.s, i felt we havent been moving forward and probably just backward moving instead. So how on earth cld i even think of the future n settle down soon? I shld just take one step a time and try to be more optimistic instead. I dont want to lose everything before i kept sinking deeper...
1:51 AM
Off to my Dreamland
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Each time I am upset, i just come to the blog and talked now. Is a sadist blog.
After the talked we had last week till the wee hours in the morning, things were looking good but here I am crying again probably for the smallest thing happen. This is happening way too often where I have been crying almost once a week which u probably didnt even know. Maybe that explains why no matter how much eye cream i put, sleep i had, my dark eye rings r still there haha
Was it my problem again? I mean i tried to be less demanding, tried to be more reasonable, attentive and supportive towards everything yet things just got even worst in my perception. It starts to become dimmer and confusing. Like is not where i wanna head to anymore. Why love just cant be a happy, lovey dovey, always sweet mushy affairs?
I was really looking forward to meet u with the food i got but it just turn out to be a simple disaster. Both parties nt giving in and yeap! There goes the limited time we had left for the week. And im sucha weakling to kept crying all the time. I really wish i could be stonger and be happier. I really want to put a stop to this weekly crying....
Yet another tearful night. I really hate it. So self comfort... Sheryl, u will feel better after a gdnight rest. Sleep now!
12:50 AM
Off to my Dreamland
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Never ending tears at night. Never seems to get a proper chance n time to talk each night. Conversation and things that i wanna say starts to pile up... And comes weekend, i forgot what i wanna said despite I kept telling myself to remember. And i got to do all the self comfort advise for myself which probably just got worst. And the only place i can "talk" to is probably my blog who never fails to die on me for th past 6 yrs. I really hope i stop feeling being so lonely at the end of each night despite making myself occupy at work and after work. It seems not gd enough to feel and think. It just got worst probably. Time is never on our side and probably it never be.
12:40 AM
Off to my Dreamland
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Goodbye short holiday!
I thought it can be work out this time round since it was kinda agreeable but somehow when we talked about it, time, work and finacial committments are factors why we aint having a holiday be it just a very short holiday trip.
I dont blame you and I do understand the whole situation. Just have to remind myself that I cannot be selfish though I really much want a short holiday, a gd trip. Of course I am upset for sure so I have to find other things as a replacement instead now.
So maybe holidays in 6 months or 1 yr time perhaps...
12:40 AM
Off to my Dreamland
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Yeap! I have graduated and also.... *Drum roll*... I got the job that I am interested in!!! *Grinz*
I heard some insider news and I hope this does not deter me to have negative thoughts about the company. What worries me is that I am not capable enough or will I be able to endure the job, the company, the colleagues and politics? Is all about adapting and getting use to it. So I will give myself about 3 to 6 months before thinking if this industry fits me. Otherwise, I got to really re-think about my future and goal...
On the bright side, I found 2 lunch kakhi that works very near me and I am so glad that there will still be familar faces around my working area haha. And I really hope I wont wake up late everyday. I'm so tired with my current work that I was late almost every single day haha except event days of course. Amd I am so tired and bored easily. Like right now, I am suppose to complete and clear as much work as I can but here I am, blogging.... Haha
I guess everyone will feels this way every now and then about their future where it seems like a blur. Even till now, I am still feeling this ways towards my career path and my r/s. I hope is heading the right way and where it should be heading. I really hope and aim for many things that I wonder, will I be able to achieve it? While I am working hard for the future, I am not sure about the other. Does the other party serious about the future or just doing it for the sake of doing. Here I am trying to save more and save hard for the future and somehow the other party is wanting to spend on enjoyment. Being the selfish me, I just feel the party is not serious about saving hard when $$ is tight while I had to slog my way up again to get a better pay salary for my future.
The topic today is about "future" and for the past 3 yrs ever since I have started work... Future always been on my mind and it just kept making me going caused I want the most beautiful home to house my family and kids, perfect wedding and honeymoon in my own term and in my own world. So that's something I want to work hard for...
What about you?
3:03 PM
Off to my Dreamland
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I am so bored! Simply too bored in my office prison cells... I have things to do but I hate those post event reports charts and database shit!
Good note: Things been doing well lately.
Now I am really hoping I get that job! I just need a change of environment badly. Is daunting yet exciting. Please pray hard for me that I clinch that job!
Yesterday night was a great jog with Ruo Ning. I managed to jog from Jurong West to Bukit Panjang non stop in 1 hr 15 mins. With the average heart rate of 160. Probably can do better than that but my knees were giving way by the 6 or 7Km mark. So I still need to train up my mental and lazy leg problems. Time to start jogging during the morning too
Here's are some plans I have in mind once I have settled down in my new job and when I have Moolah~
1) Photoshop workshop courses
2) Driving Licence - Been talking for ages so time to work on it
3) Brush my chinese - Chinese lesson perhaps? haha
4) Kickboxing/Pilates Lesson
5) Advanced Diving Course
Mean time, I just wanna spend more time at home, my family, the bf and friends. I wanna catch up with all my friends, go for a jog and swim! haha Simple!
Knock off in 30mins time soon hur hur~
4:13 PM
Off to my Dreamland
